Log #0014: The Journey To Coherence

Isolation is hell on the social skills.

I work with language for a living. You'd think that would help, but apparently not. After spending my winter with limited face-to-face contact with others, I'm finding that my ability to communicate has suffered.

Once the snows melted and I started going out a bit more, I quickly came to realize that I had become even less socially adept than I normally am. I've never been a fantastic speaker; I communicate much more easily in writing. When speaking, I have a stammer that comes and goes. The faster I'm talking or the more stressed or distracted I am, the worse it gets. So there's strike one already. By the end of this winter, I had developed a tendency to babble AND stammer. I also found myself jumping from subject to subject without warning, like a schizophrenic off of medications. Erm. Not a terribly flattering image to project, is it?

It's just not a good sign when your brain begins to tell you: "Note to Self - please shut up now." Even worse, the circuit breaker would occasionally trip and my mind would go absolutely blank. So now I was not only mentally deranged, I was also senile. Fabulous. I should be the life of any party, wouldn't you say?

What a recommendation to working at home. "Yes, you too can lose the ability to speak coherently and communicate with your fellow humans! Embarrass yourself in public! Frighten friends!"

*Sigh* Okay, maybe it isn't quite that bad. No one has suggested drugs or psychiatric help just yet. However, believe me when I say I'm working diligently on my reintegration into society all the same. Who needs to be the subject of odd looks, and make small children run in fear?

Oh, wait, that last would be okay...

* * *

This past weekend, I went on a short hike with a buddy of mine. We climbed one of the hills near her house, which afforded a very nice view of the surrounding region. I like being up high and the perspective that allows; I just don't care for getting there. Steep upward grades require lots of pausing and resting. Okay, lots of pausing and gasping for air while I wait for my heart to stop thundering in my ears. On the straightaway I can walk for hours without a problem. Going uphill is a less merciful assessment of one's actual fitness level.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself once the worst of the climbing and gasping was over. It was nice mild day, warm enough to be comfortable but not hot. Once we got to the top and were ready to head back down, we took a longer, less precipitous trail down the back of the hill and around. Very nice. One part of the trail went through a stand of grey, dry trees that could have been a set for a horror movie; film it at night with some mist, it would have had the perfect ambiance. From there we went on through greener woods, stopping at one point to look at the pine needle-covered remains of an old cabin. (Just a few logs round the bottom, nothing picturesque.) We passed through a small shaded valley that still had a solid blanket of snow on the ground, then eventually wandered back out to the road. A nice, well-rounded walk.

And yes, I did have the camera along and took pictures. Only a few came out well, as the afternoon sun was at the wrong angle for optimal lighting. Most of the wide-angle shots from the top of the hill came out rather dark. The acceptable ones are here.

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